Idle

by Shinpainai

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01:37
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about

Sweet God I've used up so much of my time trying to get these three songs done now I can finally do something productive with my life hallelujah.

Written/recorded May-July 2014.

Pro-tip: the best song is actually the last one.

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released August 4, 2014

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Shinpainai Wailuku, Hawaii

"reminds me of some crazy fuzzed out angry weezer/beach boys hybrid"
-Some dude on
the internet

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Track Name: Feeling Golden
You never looked so sentimental
'till you left the room in shivers and shakes
You never once practiced your singing,
but maybe I'm a verse too late

You never talked much 'bout devotion,
but I guess that it was somehow implied
You always said you were impulsive,
and I'd hate to think you've always lied

But so what if you're wrong?
What good does that do for my lonely, lonely self?
And I never held her for long
just another pretty plaything catching dust atop my shelf

You always craved some sort of purpose,
but I'm not the one to tell you what that is
Why can't you just live with yourself
instead of asking yourself how to live?

You say you want some conviction?
You say that you want some kind of heart-felt emotion?
And I'd only gotten her friction,
but I suppose that feeling full ain't the same as feeling golden

I always knew I had an ego
I always took you as a martyr
If I again could know/have you
I don't think that I would even bother

I've had my share of convictions,
my share of emotions
and I never could control them

Because you deserve better,
you at least deserve something
and all I am is empty
I thought I once knew golden,
but not even for that moment
Track Name: Pedestal
I used you as my pedestal
to keep my eyes on what little I have
And though you're a pretty face, you're not that great a base
you're too unstable, you're more than able

and I can't get over or around you
and whether that's just me or wistful thinking,
I'll leave it for you to decide, and for me one day to find
don't follow my behind

I wish I could admit the truth which I can't see
instead of blaming you for my clumsiness
and I wish I could keep balance on my own two feet,
and I need to learn without a crutch, my greatest clutch

I used you as my pedestal
to keep my eyes on what little I used to have
and I only held you down
I'm sorry
Track Name: I See (a lot) Through You
You leave me pieces of a puzzle which you swore you'd finish with me
a hundred pieces beginning from the very start
And in the end I never find out what the fragments come to make
because we're always one piece short

But I'm just a child and I love your juvenile games
We can play pretend so long as I decide your name

Well I should know by now

Well I'd love to see you naked as you squirm to cover up
whatever space your hands could ever hope to hold

and I'm not a sadist, but I, I'm just one lifeless human being
and I've not seen dead weight beyond my own

Though you've had your reservations about feeling so exposed
And if I wash your face, would you clean between my toes?

I should know by now

You're so mysterious that you're practically invisible
You're so reserved that you're practically not worth the bother

But I see a lot of me through you,
and the only thing I have to offer you is a colder shoulder
And I want to see myself through you,
but I should know myself by now