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Idle

by Shinpainai

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1.
You never looked so sentimental 'till you left the room in shivers and shakes You never once practiced your singing, but maybe I'm a verse too late You never talked much 'bout devotion, but I guess that it was somehow implied You always said you were impulsive, and I'd hate to think you've always lied But so what if you're wrong? What good does that do for my lonely, lonely self? And I never held her for long just another pretty plaything catching dust atop my shelf You always craved some sort of purpose, but I'm not the one to tell you what that is Why can't you just live with yourself instead of asking yourself how to live? You say you want some conviction? You say that you want some kind of heart-felt emotion? And I'd only gotten her friction, but I suppose that feeling full ain't the same as feeling golden I always knew I had an ego I always took you as a martyr If I again could know/have you I don't think that I would even bother I've had my share of convictions, my share of emotions and I never could control them Because you deserve better, you at least deserve something and all I am is empty I thought I once knew golden, but not even for that moment
2.
Pedestal 01:37
I used you as my pedestal to keep my eyes on what little I have And though you're a pretty face, you're not that great a base you're too unstable, you're more than able and I can't get over or around you and whether that's just me or wistful thinking, I'll leave it for you to decide, and for me one day to find don't follow my behind I wish I could admit the truth which I can't see instead of blaming you for my clumsiness and I wish I could keep balance on my own two feet, and I need to learn without a crutch, my greatest clutch I used you as my pedestal to keep my eyes on what little I used to have and I only held you down I'm sorry
3.
You leave me pieces of a puzzle which you swore you'd finish with me a hundred pieces beginning from the very start And in the end I never find out what the fragments come to make because we're always one piece short But I'm just a child and I love your juvenile games We can play pretend so long as I decide your name Well I should know by now Well I'd love to see you naked as you squirm to cover up whatever space your hands could ever hope to hold and I'm not a sadist, but I, I'm just one lifeless human being and I've not seen dead weight beyond my own Though you've had your reservations about feeling so exposed And if I wash your face, would you clean between my toes? I should know by now You're so mysterious that you're practically invisible You're so reserved that you're practically not worth the bother But I see a lot of me through you, and the only thing I have to offer you is a colder shoulder And I want to see myself through you, but I should know myself by now

about

Sweet God I've used up so much of my time trying to get these three songs done now I can finally do something productive with my life hallelujah.

Written/recorded May-July 2014.

Pro-tip: the best song is actually the last one.

credits

released August 4, 2014

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about

Shinpainai Wailuku, Hawaii

"reminds me of some crazy fuzzed out angry weezer/beach boys hybrid"
-Some dude on
the internet

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